I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Quick, to the slutcave!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
