I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
