Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
