My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
