You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
