I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is wine microwaveable?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
