I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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