hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
