she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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