I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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