he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
