What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I supernannyed him into submission
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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