dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My first STD was from a foam party
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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