took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
