So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it's like iHOP with fire
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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