i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
