my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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