One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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