So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
