Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
