Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
