Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
