Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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