Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
