you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
