Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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