Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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