after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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