Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
