The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
