I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
3 2 1 whiskey
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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