How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
