i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
