It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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