i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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