if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
