I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize