Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
