UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
