College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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