I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
