i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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