i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
