is your mom at the bar?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
