the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
