so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
