He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
