i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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