Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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