I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm both gender and math confused
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
