I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize