Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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