This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you win again, gameday.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
