In the future we'll all be gay
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
