Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
